Korra
by Nefer Lio
Summary: 15 years together and a bunch of kids do not prevent couples from hitting a rough patch once in a while. This time however, "rough patch" does not even begin to describe the problem Korra and Asami face.


"Korra? Could we talk for a moment?"

Korra sat in the living room and had read some legal documents when Asami entered. The Avatar took the glasses from her nose to show she was done reading and starting to listen. Her wife however sat next to her first, with way too much worry on her aged but still pretty face.

"What is it? Are the kids okay?"

"Yes, sure. All of them are asleep", came the answer, "well, except for Tara, she's still reading." She sighed deeply and looked away. "Did you realize I haven't had my period in a while now?"

"Yes", it was a surprising answer, and Korra shrugged the fact off, "it's been what? Two months? It's probably just stress." Her reassuring smile wavered when she saw Asami's face. "Isn't it?"

"I don't _feel _stressed", the engineer answered, sighing deeply, "sure the kids are a handful. But I don't _have to_ work anymore. And I don't even think I _need _the 'day off' when you take the children out and I get to tinker at my cars."

Korra just frowned and took her wife's hand, squeezing it: "Maybe menopause?"

That word made Asami angry: "Hey! I'm not _that _old! I've probably ten or even twenty years until that happens!"

"Sorry." There was a silence between them. "So you want to see a healer?"

"I'd rather prefer a doctor."

The Avatar rolled her eyes at that, but both had the smallest smile tugging at their lips. They had known each other for twenty years (give or take), and they were still not on the same page regarding their medical treatment - one prefered waterbending healers, one educated physicians.

"And you want me to come with you", Korra questioned, trying to smile for her wife's sake, "I could take a look instead?"

"You can, but I'd still want you to come with me to see a real doctor", there was a lot of subliminal desperation in Asami's voice, making Korra cringe. But she nodded bravely and grabbed her upper arm just above her elbow. The tingly sensation in Asami's skin told her Korra was tapping into her energy, like she had done a million times for varying reasons.

The Avatar retreated rather suddenly with a shocked facial expression. For a moment, anger flickered in her eyes, then indifference, and lastly determination.

"You're right. We should see a doctor."

* * *

The two of them took terms being the strong one. When they sat in the treatment room waiting for the physician to go over the results, it was Korra's turn. She had Asami's head on her shoulder and was absentmindedly stroking her hair.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Sato, you're pregnant", the man finally said with a warm smile.

Asami laughed. Korra did not. The hair stroking stopped.

"You've got the wrong file", the engineer told him, but the man in front of them checked everything twice and shook his head, "then do the tests again. It's not possible."

And so he did. When they waited for the second set of results, Korra was not the strong one anymore. She was eyeing her wife suspiciously the entire time, but Asami had a smug smile on her face.

"We redid all the tests, and you are without a doubt pregnant."

This time Korra laughed. Asami did not. Korra stood up and left the doctor's office without a word.

* * *

"I swear to you: I did not cheat", Asami repeated for the twenty-seventh time. She had cried from the moment she came home and not yet stopped.

Korra did not cry, she was so angry Asami thought she saw her flickering into the Avatar state every now and then: "So you just fell on some naked guy or something?"

"I don't know", the engineer was taking shaky breaths, "but I don't even have the time to cheat. The kids are always around me."

"Except for the days when I take the children so you can work on your cars."

Asami slumped into the cushions of the couch, hiding her tired, puffy eyes behind her hands. "I did not cheat." She suddenly perked up. "You know, that's like with your parents. Like when you started firebending and your dad thought your mom was cheating. But he trusted her. And he was right."

"Don't bring my parents into that. I'm the Avatar, that was different."

"Yes, you are the Avatar", Asami nodded, trying to find the willpower to not start crying again, "you are different. Things have always been different with you."

Korra thought about that for a long, long time, then shook her head and balled her hands to fist. "No. We've been intimate for what? Fifteen years? If I could get you pregnant then it would have happened a long, long time ago."

"I did not cheat", the twenty-ninth time, "please think about the last two months. Did I even have a day to myself?" Asami's head felt like a cloud, she could not concentrate much. "We were on the vacation, and before and after, we spent your days off as a family. Either you or the kids were around me all the time."

"I took them to the zoo last week", Korra reminded her, crossing her arms, "and we spent the day at the Nuktuk set with Bolin three weeks ago."

Asami looked up at her miserably: "But by then I already must have been pregnant. I should have gotten my period four weeks ago."

At that Korra punched the wall in frustration. It left an imprint. "I don't know how all that works. Maybe you were already late by a week when you cheated."

"I did not cheat", and the thirtieth time.

"Confess already!" Asami shook her head stubbornly. "I just can't talk to you when you like that."

* * *

Korra could not talk to Asami _at all_. After sleeping one week in a guestroom, she moved into a hotel. Of course she loved their children, and she made sure to spent all her spare time with them. Just not with Asami anymore. She could not see her face.

What hurt was not the cheating, at least Korra thought so. What hurt were the lies upon lies. One night of passion (or day, or whatever) she could forgive, and she knew Asami and that other guy would never come close to having what they had. But that she lied about it was making it hard to forgive. That she even sounded honest when she did so made her scrutinize everything her wife had told her in… ever.

* * *

Some weeks after moving into the hotel, Korra had a surprising visitor: her wife.

"I'm sorry I lied to you", she said after Korra opened the door, "I did cheat." Thirty lies alone on the day they found out Asami was pregnant. Korra let her in anyway, she did not want everybody to know that the Avatar had been cheated on. But she did not say a thing.

"I love you, Korra, I love you so much you don't even know", Asami said, and even though her voice sounded broken, she did not start to cry. "I'd do anything to have you come back and live with us again." Korra was not reacting one way or another. "The kids miss you so much, and I don't know what to tell them."

The facial expression of utter disgust was something not many people had ever seen on the current Avatar, and it was not a pretty sight. "Tell them you cheated."

Asami's face fell at that, and tears were starting to spill out. "Korra…" She shook her head. "No, I can't do that. Please don't make me!" She took her wife's hand, squeezing it. "Please, Korra. Don't you love me anymore? Don't you want us to work again?"

Korra opened her mouth, then closed it. She licked her dry lips, then started over. "I don't know if I can go back to how things were."

"Please try."

* * *

Some days later Korra moved back into the Sato mansion after taking the time to think everything over. She still loved Asami so much it hurt, and she loved the kids, and she was missing all of them. She was not, however, moving into the marital bedroom, but into the guestroom.

She and Asami talked a lot, tried to make it work, but Korra had a hard time believing anything her wife told her. Even minor things, like when she said "it's going to be warm today"; Korra hated how she looked out of the window to confirm that it was actually going to be warm. She _wanted _to trust her again.

One thing the Avatar wanted to know, no, _needed _to know, was when it had happened. Asami told her it was some gala and she was drunk and it was some random Earth Kingdom guy and it was quick and unsatisfying and she really did not want to even think about it because she had felt remorse right from the start. Regarding the question why she had not come clean sooner, she just shrugged and told her that she had tried to block the incident out.

Korra could not remember a gala, but she tried really hard to believe.

They tried to be the best parents they could under these circumstances, but it was hard. Even harder was Asami asking Korra if she wanted to give the baby away. Korra did not want to, she was too decent. But she did not want to keep it, either. She did not want to see the living proof that her wife had cheated on her for the rest of her life.

She tried to tell herself that she was not the mother of the other children, either. It did not work. After they had found out Asami was pregnant, nothing worked in Korra's favor anymore.

* * *

The next months Korra spent a lot of time travelling the world on Avatar business. She even took varying subsets of the kids with her. When she came back, she and Asami had a bit more stuff to talk about - new political direction in this state, a quelled riot in that state.

By the time of the due date, they had gone back to friends, maybe even good friends. Korra did not feel the need to question everything Asami said anymore. They slept in the same bed again, but they did not exchange tenderness of any kind.

And then the baby was born, a bouncing baby girl, and when Korra saw her, she saw that Asami had lied again. The little girl was neither Fire Nation nor Earth Kingdom, she had dark skin almost as dark as Korra's. There had not been some Earth Kingdom guy at some gala. After seeing her wife's daughter, Korra vanished.

* * *

"Mommy!"

Tara latched onto Korra the moment she had opened the entrance of the mansion wide enough to recognize her mother. The Avatar was bruised and battered and must have been crying a lot in the past days, since her eyes were red and had dark bags.

"How's Asami? Does she hate me", she asked her daughter, who rubbed tears out of her eyes.

"Mom will never hate you", Tara assured. It did not make Korra feel better, on the contrary. She could not swallow the hard lump in her throat. "She named the baby after you, because she looks so much like you!" This, too, was making her feel worse.

They had lied to their children. Told them they had wanted another child, that they had tried to get Asami pregnant on purpose. Korra hated the lies, but she hated the thought of their children loathing their mom a lot more.

"Where is she?"

* * *

Asami was in their bedroom, nursing the baby. She looked battered in her own way, but a bunch of kids and a missing wife did that to a woman, no matter how strong she appeared.

Korra did not knock, she just slipped into the room, closing the door behind her. When she saw Asami, she started crying and fell to her knees.

"You really must hate me", she forced out between sobs.

Her wife shifted the little girl in her arms, so that she fed on her other breast, and shook her head plainly. Her tears had stopped coming out a long time ago.

"You know why you got pregnant", Korra questioned, and this time Asami showed honest surprise. The new mother opened her mouth, then frowned, as if considering if this was a trick question. Finally she shook her head, ready to bob it up and down if her wife showed the slightest irritation.

"I… I went to see Iroh… and… and he told me", the strongest woman on earth was kneeling on the floor and sobbing so forcefully she had a hard time getting the words out, "our vacation… in the Spirit World… Kyoshi… I… I'm so, so… sorry."

_"Of course you could get your wife pregnant in this world, Korra. You're the Avatar, the laws in the Spirit World bend to your will. How did you think Avatar Kyoshi managed to have a daughter? She was living on an island with a harem of girls, and the closest she ever let a man was probably when she killed Chin the Conqueror."_

Asami understood either way. After the baby had finished her meal, she put her down into the crib, and walked to sit in front of her wife. When she spoke, it was barely a whisper, but all her strength laid in the words and the small smile that accompanied it: "I should have known to use a contraceptive with you."

Korra looked up at that, and she tried to smile, but it looked horrible. She was rubbing her eyes when she answered: "Don't make fun of it. I'm the worst."

"Korra, if you were to turn up pregnant, I wouldn't believe in some miraculous spirity conception either", Asami replied with an unusual strong voice, laying a hand on Korra's leg, "not when there's a perfectly good explanation at hand."

That hurt a lot. And Korra realized how much it must have hurt Asami the previous months, and still she saw in her wife's face that she had already forgiven her, because she loved her so much.

"Why did you name her after me", she managed to get out, finally calming down.

Asami was silent for a long time, then she took both of Korra's hands into hers. It was the most contact they had in seven months. "Because when I saw her I knew you wouldn't believe I was with someone from the Earth Kingdom. I thought you had left me for good. And you know I can't live without you, without Korra. So I thought…" She trailed off, looking towards her daughter.

No, _their _daughter.

Korra followed her gaze and she started to cry, but this time it was from joy, because she was starting to realize: "She… she's my daughter."

Her wife smiled at that, then she stood up, holding a hand out for her to take: "Take a look at her."

Korra let herself be pulled to her feet then staggered to the crib with the sleeping baby. She had thought their other children were beautiful, but this little wonder was the most gorgeous girl in the entire world. Just because it was Korra's daughter, Korra's biological daughter. She was the daughter of a woman who had to bury the wish to be a parent because she loved another female. The daughter of a woman whom the universe saw fit to remove the ability to even bear children from, when it made Zaheer poison her.

Avatar Korra had chanced so much in a couple of years, far more than most Avatars did in their entire lifetime. But baby Korra in front of her had already turned her life upside down so much more than that.

She thought Asami had chosen the right name for their daughter.


End file.
